The Forgotten Art of Solitude: Why Time Alone May Be the Missing Ingredient in Modern Wellbeing
- Jo Moore
- Jul 3
- 5 min read
"Without great solitude, no serious work is possible." — Pablo Picasso
We live in a world that rarely allows silence.
The moment we wake, notifications compete for our attention. During our commute, podcasts fill the space. While waiting in a queue, we scroll. Even our walks are often accompanied by music, news, or endless streams of content. For many of us, being alone with our thoughts has become something to avoid rather than embrace.
Yet some of the world's leading psychologists suggest that this constant occupation of our attention may come at a cost.
Psychologist Ester Buchholz argued that the need for solitude is every bit as fundamental to human wellbeing as the need for connection. Her work highlighted that chosen alonetime is not a sign of loneliness or withdrawal but an essential ingredient for creativity, self-knowledge, emotional balance, and psychological growth.
In a culture that celebrates busyness and connectivity, her message feels more relevant than ever. Wellbeing depends also on the forgotten art of practicising solitude.
Solitude Is Not Loneliness
One of the greatest misunderstandings about solitude is that it is the same as loneliness.
Loneliness is the painful feeling of being disconnected from others. Solitude, by contrast, is the conscious choice to spend time with oneself. The difference matters.
A person may feel lonely in a crowded room, while another may feel deeply nourished sitting quietly beside a river, walking through a forest, or reading alone beneath a tree.
The ancient philosopher Blaise Pascal famously observed:
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
Although written centuries ago, his words capture a challenge that seems amplified in the digital age.
The Creative Power of Being Alone
Many of history's greatest thinkers, artists, and writers deliberately sought solitude. Virginia Woolf argued for the necessity of "a room of one's own." Henry David Thoreau retreated to Walden Pond. Albert Einstein valued long solitary walks.
Modern science increasingly supports what these individuals discovered intuitively. Researchers at Stanford University found that walking significantly boosts creative thinking. Participants generated substantially more creative ideas while walking compared with sitting, and the creative benefits often continued after the walk had ended. Interestingly, it was the act of walking itself - not necessarily the environment - that appeared to stimulate creative thought. (Stanford News)
This helps explain why so many breakthrough ideas arrive during quiet walks, moments in nature, or periods away from screens and distractions. Creativity requires mental space. When our attention is constantly occupied, there is little room for imagination to emerge.
Meeting Yourself Beneath the Noise
Solitude offers something that constant connection cannot: an opportunity to hear our own thoughts. When external stimulation fades, we begin to notice what is happening internally.
What am I feeling?
What matters most to me?
What am I avoiding?
What am I longing for?
These questions rarely surface when our attention is continuously directed outward. Neuroscientists have identified a collection of brain regions known as the "default mode network", which becomes active during periods of rest, reflection, and internally directed thought. This network is associated with autobiographical memory, self-reflection, future planning, and understanding ourselves in relation to others. (Nature) In other words, some of the most important work of becoming ourselves happens when we appear to be doing nothing at all.
The Cost of Constant Connection
Researcher and psychologist Sherry Turkle has spent decades studying the relationship between technology and human behaviour. Her findings suggest that our increasing dependence on digital devices is changing not only how we relate to others but also how we relate to ourselves.
Turkle argues that many people have become uncomfortable with solitude and increasingly reach for technology whenever a quiet moment appears. Through years of interviews and research, she found that our culture of constant connection often leaves little room for stillness, reflection, or genuine presence. (MIT for a Better World)
One of her most quoted observations is:
"If we don't teach our children to be alone, they will only know how to be lonely." (MIT for a Better World)
This insight points to an important distinction. The capacity to be comfortably alone is a skill.
Like meditation, it can be developed through practice. Without it, silence may feel uncomfortable. With it, silence becomes restorative.
Nature: The Perfect Companion to Solitude
For many people, the easiest way to rediscover solitude is not by sitting alone indoors but by spending time in nature.
A quiet woodland path.
A mountain trail.
A riverside bench.
A stretch of empty countryside.
Nature offers a gentle form of companionship without demanding our attention. Unlike our phones, it asks nothing from us. Birdsong replaces notifications. The rhythm of our footsteps replaces the rush of information. Gradually, the nervous system settles. Thoughts become clearer. Breathing deepens. We begin to reconnect with something often neglected: our own inner landscape.
This may be one reason why many contemplative traditions have long combined solitude with time outdoors. Nature provides the ideal environment for reflection, presence, and emotional restoration.
Solitude and Emotional Regulation
Another benefit of chosen alonetime is emotional regulation. When we are constantly distracted, difficult emotions often remain unprocessed beneath the surface. Solitude gives us the opportunity to acknowledge and understand what we are experiencing.
Rather than immediately escaping discomfort through entertainment, scrolling, or busyness, we learn to sit with our emotions and listen to what they may be trying to tell us. Over time, this strengthens emotional resilience. We become less reactive and more aware. Less driven by impulse and more guided by insight.
As author Parker Palmer writes:
"The soul speaks its truth only under quiet, inviting, and trustworthy conditions."
Solitude creates precisely those conditions.
Practising Solitude in a Noisy World
You do not need to disappear into a remote cabin for a month to experience the benefits of solitude. Small moments matter.
You might begin by:
Taking a daily walk without your phone.
Sitting outside for ten minutes without reading or listening to anything.
Driving without music or podcasts.
Spending time in nature with no agenda beyond being present.
Journalling after a period of quiet reflection.
Practising meditation or mindful breathing.
At first, the silence may feel unfamiliar. That is perfectly normal. Modern life has trained many of us to avoid empty space. But gradually, what initially feels empty often reveals itself to be richly alive.
Returning to Yourself: Final Words on The Forgotten Art of Solitude
In a culture that encourages us to be constantly connected, solitude can feel almost rebellious. Yet it may be one of the most important wellbeing practices available to us. The need for connection is real. But so is the need for alone-time.
We need moments to listen to our own thoughts, reconnect with our values, process our experiences, and rediscover who we are beneath the noise. Solitude is not something to be endured. It is something to be practised.
And what you may find there, when the phone is put away, the podcast is paused, and the
silence is allowed to speak, is not emptiness at all. It is yourself.
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