Focus on What Makes You Happy: Recreate Joy and Leave the Negativity Behind

Jo Moore
Jul 5
5 min read

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” - Dalai Lama XIV

In a world where we're constantly bombarded with bad news, rising expectations, and internal pressures to "fix" what's broken in our lives, it can be easy to fall into a habit of focusing on the negative. We analyze what’s wrong, dissect our failures, and ruminate on problems - hoping that through sheer effort or willpower, we’ll find our way out of dissatisfaction.

But what if the key to a better, more fulfilling life wasn’t in constantly identifying what’s not working - but rather in tuning into what is? What if joy was not a distant goal, but a compass?

1. The Brain’s Natural Negativity Bias

“The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.” - Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Hardwiring Happiness

Our brains are hardwired to focus on the negative due to an evolutionary trait known as the negativity bias. From a survival standpoint, noticing danger was more important than savoring a beautiful sunset. Today, though we’re not dodging tigers, this bias still dominates our attention. (Source: Hanson, R. (2013). Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence.)

Becoming aware of this bias is the first step toward countering it. We can then consciously shift our focus toward what uplifts, nourishes, and grounds us.

2. What We Focus On Grows

“Where attention goes, energy flows.” - Dr. Joe Dispenza

This simple truth holds tremendous power. If you keep returning to what's broken, you'll reinforce it. But if you redirect your attention to moments of beauty, gratitude, or joy - even briefly - you begin to build a life rooted in possibility rather than pain.

Research in neuroplasticity shows that our brains physically change based on where we place our attention. Focus on joy and connection, and those neural pathways become stronger. (Source: Siegel, D. J. (2010). The Mindful Therapist: A Clinician’s Guide to Mindsight and Neural Integration.)

3. Happiness as a Compass, Not a Destination

“Happiness is not a goal... it’s a by-product of a life well lived.”- Eleanor Roosevelt

Many people chase happiness like a finish line. But real joy is found in moments: when you're laughing with a friend, lost in a creative flow, or present on a forest trail. When we use happiness as a compass, we make better decisions - not just productive ones, but nourishing ones.

Ask yourself:

What am I doing when I feel most alive?
What places, people, or activities bring out the best in me?

The answers aren’t just nice-to-know - they’re a blueprint for a life worth living.

4. Rewiring the Mind Through Positive Focus

“Positive emotions broaden our awareness and build lasting psychological resources.” - Barbara Fredrickson, Ph.D.

In positive psychology, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s Broaden-and-Build Theory suggests that positive emotions expand our thinking, making us more creative, resilient, and connected. This helps us build inner resources like coping skills and social bonds.

Simple tools like gratitude journaling or savoring small pleasures can significantly boost well-being over time. (Source: Fredrickson, B. (2009). Positivity: Top-Notch Research Reveals the 3-to-1 Ratio That Will Change Your Life.)

5. The Power of Intention: Recreating Joy

“The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.” - Henry Ward Beecher

Once you know what brings you happiness - gardening, dancing, deep conversations - you can make a conscious effort to include more of it in your life.

A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that people who intentionally engaged in activities they enjoyed had higher levels of life satisfaction than those who did not. (Source: Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist.)

This isn’t about chasing pleasure - it’s about anchoring your life in what genuinely makes you feel fulfilled.

6. Letting Go of the Fix-It Mentality

“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” - Henri J.M. Nouwen

There’s nothing wrong with healing, growth, or change - but if we’re always in “fix-it” mode, we might miss the present moment. What if, instead of constantly seeking to become someone else, we chose to rediscover the parts of ourselves that are already whole and joyful?

This shift - from fixing to following what feels good - is subtle but transformative. It puts you in a position of power, not deficiency.

7. The Ripple Effect of Joy

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” - Rumi

Joy isn’t just personal - it’s relational. When you’re deeply connected to what makes you happy, you become more present, kind, generous, and magnetic. You inspire others to do the same.

Psychologist Shawn Achor found that happiness increases productivity, boosts immune function, and enhances relationships. (Source: Achor, S. (2010). The Happiness Advantage: How a Positive Brain Fuels Success in Work and Life.) Your happiness might just be the most generous thing you can offer the world.

8. Overcoming Guilt: You’re Allowed to Feel Good

“Don’t postpone joy until you have learned all your lessons. Joy is your lesson.” - Alan Cohen

Many people struggle with permission - especially when life is hard or others are suffering. But denying your own joy doesn't heal the world. In fact, your well-being can be part of the solution.

Joy gives us fuel to be compassionate, creative, and courageous. You don’t need to “earn” it. You’re worthy of it right now, as you are.

9. A Practice: The “Happiness Audit”

Here’s a simple, transformative exercise you can try today:

The Happiness Audit:

What made me smile or laugh this week?
When did I feel energized or free?
What made me feel drained or small?
What do I want more of next week?

Write your answers down. Over time, you’ll notice patterns and preferences. These insights are clues - breadcrumbs that lead you toward your authentic, joyful life.

Tip: Keep a "Joy Journal" for 30 days. Write down one thing each day that brought you happiness. It can change your mental outlook more than you'd expect.

10. Final Thoughts: Joy Is a Radical Act

“To be happy in this world, first you need a cell phone and then you need an airplane. And then you’re trapped. Joy is a simpler thing.” - Ethan Hawke

In a culture that prizes hustle, comparison, and perfection, choosing joy is a quiet rebellion. It's an act of reclaiming your time, your values, your life.

By focusing on what brings you happiness, you’re not just surviving - you’re shaping a life that feels meaningful, empowered, and deeply your own.

You don’t need to fix everything. You just need to listen to what lights you up - and follow it.